Friendships

This last few months I've been able to reflect on friendships and what makes a true friend, how we make new friends and how you distinguish between a friend and an acquaintance. My 4 year old started school 3 weeks ago she went to a school where none of her nursery class was attending and she has found it hard to make friends, she still doesn't know the names of children in her class and has had tears over the fact that she has no friends it has been heart breaking to see my four year old like this but what I didn't understand was why this happened. Beth was always popular at her nursery with plenty of friends yet now she seem to not know how to make friends. The reasons I came up with for her difficulty was:- 1) She went to nursery with her big sister who was already integrated into the nursery so already had friends and Beth just slotted into the group her sister had made. 2) Many of her nursery friends were children of my friends so they had been brought up together so never really needed to go out of her way to make friends. 3) Many of the children in her class went to the nursery attached to the school so they already had their network of friends and Beth had to break through that network. So to me this will be an interesting year to see how my 4 year old adjusts to life in primary school and creating her friendships. Last year I observed this stage with my oldest daughter who also went to school from a nursery where no other child came with her yet one of her best friends outside of nursery started the school with her and she just slotted into the class and had no problems with making friends just knowing someone seem to help with this process and her personality was an added bonus as unlike Beth she is very outgoing where as Beth is shy until she knows you. With this search for friends it made me reflect on my friends past present and future. No matter how close the children get to there primary friends the chance of them growing up and staying friends is slime. I no longer have any contact with anyone I want to school with whether it be primary or secondary. That part of life is over and the need for child friends is over I will remember some of those who were once named friends fondly with the time we spent together and the moments we helped each other out sharing homework, writing sick notes to get each other out of pe, spending time outside of school, swimming discos all part of the fond memories of mine however as that time in life closed and those people walked out of my life for one reason or another others then walked into my life to support me in the next stage of life. It's funny how friends come and go and they come in the time you need them most of the time the people that become friends are those you have a connection with during the stage of life your at, right now my closest friends have children who are around the same age and many are like me stay at home mothers. We can help and support each other with what ever happens in our lives, children's homework, potty training, temper tantrums rejoice with each other and cry with each other once again I see these people walk in and out of my life though sometimes it's just the kids are going to different schools now but some times it's more drastic and those that use to be so close and I shared everything with just start to grate on me so I begin to distance myself from them and slowly move on to new friends. This is just a part of life I have to get use to people walk in and walk out of my life. My children have the chance to get use to this a lot earlier than most as they attend a school based in the army barracks so see children in their class go and new children starting all the time, here is hoping that this will help them adjust to this very hard lesson in life that most people in life don't stay around forever that even best friends no matter how close will may one day have to walk out of their lives.

September

September has started which is becoming the dreaded month of the year. I love July and August 6 weeks with my family bubble together then September turns up and the bubble bursts. School and pre school start again leaving me with one or two children at home depending on the day and time. John also goes back to work after having 6 weeks off. The house seems so quiet now especially this year as Ebby my 2 year old has gone away to grandma's for a week and the only child left with me is a sleeping 6 month old. The house is far to quiet after the adventure of the last 6 weeks. So yesterday I handed over my 5 year old to her new teacher, looking very smart ready for a new year with new rules and to learn more. She's a smart cookie although she has to work at it she loves to be praised and to get her to motivate her is simple with a bit of praise. Bethany 4 years old is much different she is pure stubborn and if she doesn't want to do something then she just will not as much as you bribe her or praise her nothing works. I do hope her reception teacher is ready for her. When Ebs 2yrs gets back from Grannies she's off to preschool on Tuesdays and Friday mornings. She plays up everytime she is dropped off but I persuasive and one day I'll be upset because she doesn't want mummy to take her in anymore. I just can't believe how fast time is turning and my girls are growing up time really needs to slow right down so that I can enjoy them without rushing with the mundane daily rituals.

How do people manage it?

So how do people manage the whole being the "perfect" housewife mixed with young children? Is this really possible or just a myth? I'm hoping it's just a myth. No matter how much I try and keep on top of things it just doesn't work. The oldest one in preschool 5 mornings, number 2 child is at preschool 3 mornings a week but still that leaves me entertaining an 11month old who if I'm lucky will take an 15 minute nap sometime around 11am so where do you juggle house work end of the day? I've been worn out by the kids and just want to chill or go to the gym when the kids are in bed?
 My theory on things is that right now my priority is my children who are still quite reliant on me even if they fight for their independence daily. Soon enough they will all be at school giving me the time I want to clean and tidy and long for the these days of having my princesses by my side  . There really is no winning.
Anyway back to my problem how do people cope with being a housewife and mother of young children? Is it just normal to put the housework on hold for a few years and just do the basics to keep the house tidy, all the  family feed and have clean clothes or is there a way to clean out the cupboards and wash windows hoover under all the furniture and fold fitted sheets properly (I don't think I'll ever be able to do that). 

My CHALLENGE OF THE WEEK:  a time audit  to see how I waste my time and  feel guilty for time wasting rather than what I haven't got round too.  Let's see how this goes how much of my 24 hours do I waste. Once I know that then we can move on to replacing time wasting activities with more productive ones. 

Royal wedding Do we really care?

So today children everywhere celebrated the royal wedding of Prince William and "Princess Catherine". Do I care about the big occasion? Not particularly but I'm loving the fact that it is bringing the country together to celebrate something  which the country rarely do even if we should celebrate like this every year on St Georges day in my opinion which counts for a lot. Anyway the big wedding means that my husband gets a day off,  in theory to celebrate the big day with his family reality is completely opposite he's spending the day studying so I have to keep our 3 kids busy out of the house tomorrow so he can get his assignments finished needless to say good job there is an extra bank holiday next year for the Queens Jubilee.

Anyway my 2 older girls attend the same pre school where they had a garden party since my girls are typical females they loved the idea of dressing up as princesses, making crowns and decorating cakes not to mention all the party food and dancing to cheesy party songs it was as if the day was made for them. Which is rightly so since in my eyes they are princesses.
Well anyway if you haven't got the point yet who cares what we celebrate lets just have more national celebrations.