Friday, 21 September 2012
This last few months I've been able to reflect on friendships and what makes a true friend, how we make new friends and how you distinguish between a friend and an acquaintance. My 4 year old started school 3 weeks ago she went to a school where none of her nursery class was attending and she has found it hard to make friends, she still doesn't know the names of children in her class and has had tears over the fact that she has no friends it has been heart breaking to see my four year old like this but what I didn't understand was why this happened. Beth was always popular at her nursery with plenty of friends yet now she seem to not know how to make friends. The reasons I came up with for her difficulty was:- 1) She went to nursery with her big sister who was already integrated into the nursery so already had friends and Beth just slotted into the group her sister had made. 2) Many of her nursery friends were children of my friends so they had been brought up together so never really needed to go out of her way to make friends. 3) Many of the children in her class went to the nursery attached to the school so they already had their network of friends and Beth had to break through that network. So to me this will be an interesting year to see how my 4 year old adjusts to life in primary school and creating her friendships. Last year I observed this stage with my oldest daughter who also went to school from a nursery where no other child came with her yet one of her best friends outside of nursery started the school with her and she just slotted into the class and had no problems with making friends just knowing someone seem to help with this process and her personality was an added bonus as unlike Beth she is very outgoing where as Beth is shy until she knows you. With this search for friends it made me reflect on my friends past present and future. No matter how close the children get to there primary friends the chance of them growing up and staying friends is slime. I no longer have any contact with anyone I want to school with whether it be primary or secondary. That part of life is over and the need for child friends is over I will remember some of those who were once named friends fondly with the time we spent together and the moments we helped each other out sharing homework, writing sick notes to get each other out of pe, spending time outside of school, swimming discos all part of the fond memories of mine however as that time in life closed and those people walked out of my life for one reason or another others then walked into my life to support me in the next stage of life. It's funny how friends come and go and they come in the time you need them most of the time the people that become friends are those you have a connection with during the stage of life your at, right now my closest friends have children who are around the same age and many are like me stay at home mothers. We can help and support each other with what ever happens in our lives, children's homework, potty training, temper tantrums rejoice with each other and cry with each other once again I see these people walk in and out of my life though sometimes it's just the kids are going to different schools now but some times it's more drastic and those that use to be so close and I shared everything with just start to grate on me so I begin to distance myself from them and slowly move on to new friends. This is just a part of life I have to get use to people walk in and walk out of my life. My children have the chance to get use to this a lot earlier than most as they attend a school based in the army barracks so see children in their class go and new children starting all the time, here is hoping that this will help them adjust to this very hard lesson in life that most people in life don't stay around forever that even best friends no matter how close will may one day have to walk out of their lives.